For the past 27 years, Jim Curtis’s mission has been to change the health and wellness of the world. First as an executive at WebMD, Everyday Health, and The Institute for Integrative Nutrition, and now as a coach, spiritual guide, and therapist. He’s got great advice to get past pain, setbacks, and trauma and to become more magnetic and optimistic.

The journey to becoming magnetic:

“You truly become magnetic when you cultivate presence in this realization that we are far greater than this human form. We have this spiritual life, this spiritual presence, this energy that’s all around us that we can’t see. And we start to rise above these everyday crazy, monkey-mind thoughts. We just simply become more present. And then everybody is attracted in some way because they find you as having something they don’t.”

Practical tips on how to be present:

“When you’re with people, start to get curious about … your breath. If I’m sitting with you at a dinner table, am I breathing and am I focusing on how you feel or am I texting and looking down and not making eye contact? Because as soon as you shift into, ‘Okay, here’s my breath, and I’m here with another human being and I can connect energetically,’ then you can immediately connect and be present.”

How powerful being present truly is:

“You have far better relationships. People feel heard and seen – 100% people feel heard and seen. You almost get a superpower. When your present with someone and you can make eye contact, listen, and be calm and they know that you’re not thinking of anything else and you’re focused on them, it’s your superpower.”

The idea behind caring less:

“It’s a Buddhist principal of non-attachment. I can put a desire out into the world, but as soon as I need it or want it, it becomes a state of suffering. So, there is a space between what I want and then having it. And, in that space there is suffering. But, in that space if you declare, ‘This is what I really want in my life but I don’t need it,’ meaning that I can proclaim this, and announce it, and manifest it, and then I can let go and let it develop how it should be. Doesn’t mean I’m not going to take steps. It just means that there’s a confidence knowing that it’s going to work out, regardless.” 

Why listening is so critical to magnetism:

“The art of listening is just having the confidence to be quiet for a second and allow the person to speak. And then, the second part is, being present enough to listen. Without having to think about your own thoughts and how you’re going to respond, because that’s ego. When you start thinking about your own thoughts and how you’re going to respond, you start thinking about how you’re going to be reflected in this person’s eyes. … Allowing someone to be heard means not thinking about yourself and what you’re going to say, allowing them the space to speak, and then just really having some curiosity.”

Lean into positive self-talk:

“Our body is listening. And we’re saying so many negative things quietly in our mind, that we need to sometimes counteract them with positive ones that we say loudly.”

The Common Denominator of living in abundance:

“Humans have a common denominator of fear. Fear that we don’t have enough, that we’re not good enough, that something is going to go wrong, that we’re going to lose something, all this fear. … Every day we are cycling through fear. So, the common denominator to live in abundance is to not necessarily go get something more – we have it already, it’s all around us – it’s to release what’s blocking us from it. And usually that block is fear.”